You may think your life is not complete until you have children. You may have had a good think about how a child would change your life and you are ready for it. And children are great, even with sleep deprivation you love those little babas more than you could ever imagine is possible. But there are a few annoying things (that are not the fault of the child) that you might not have contemplated. Some really small things that can be just enough to push you over the edge some days, these things may seem really insignificant to most people and would not even register in your mind pre-baby. There are many more than I am listing and I would love to hear any more you have! Here’s my list of 5 things that give a new mother rage:
The variety of bottles and teats Mother Rage(MR) Factor 4/10
We only went through about 4 different brands before we found one that worked for us. We were lucky. Your eyes start to glaze over as you look at all the options on the shelf – given that you are already bleary eyed from lack of sleep and desperate to find one that works for your baby. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, anti-colic, anti-wind, self sterilising, 5oz, 9oz, etc. That’s just the bottles, then you have to select a teat – slow flow, fast flow, natural flow, vented, latex, silicone, etc. It’s a total minefield. Before I had my baby I decided I would be breastfeeding and I’d just use whatever bottles came with the pump. Ha ha ha ha… ignorance is bliss really.
Dog Poo (that hasn’t been pooper scoopered) MR Factor 9/10
Even the most unprepared parent knows somewhere along the way you are going to be dealing with a lot of dirty nappies. But dog poo? Most dog owners I know are very conscientious and pick up any mess their canine buddy makes. However, only yesterday, being in a particularly vulnerable state due to acute lack of sleep, I encountered what can only be described as a dog poonami on my pushchair wheels. I’m usually pretty good at watching where I walk but obviously not yesterday. I didn’t notice until I went to load the pushchair into the car and ended up having to use almost a whole pack of baby wipes to clean the wheels whilst simultaneously heaving and gagging for 10 minutes. It was on all 4 wheels too -quite frankly if I had aimed to do this, it would have been a challenge. It left me in a very dark place.
Total disregard for parent and baby parking spaces MR Factor 8/10
These spaces are designed wider than a normal parking space so you can manage to get a baby carseat or just the actual baby in and out of the car. They are near the shops so baby or child doesn’t get soaked in the rain (or if there is a nappy malfunction or nowhere to feed or the child is just going totally crazy for no reason) you can get back to the safety of your car quickly! It is not ok for you to use these spaces if you have a 15 year old child but that would only incur a mother rage factor of maybe 6/10. What gets the mother rage factor right up there is seeing a big van with one man sitting there on his phone, or little sports cars with not a whiff of a child. One day I was struggling to get my carseat with baby out of the car and a man was just sitting in his van, in the (parent) space next to me, watching me struggle – there was no child anywhere near him either. Is there such a thing as parking rage?
Choosing clothes MR Factor 5/10
This is more relevant to the early weeks or if, like me, you have a happy puker on your hands then it’s forever relevant! I really had no idea that half my wardrobe would be unwearable, not due to baby weight on me or breastfeeding but due to baby puke on me! My baby is indeed a happy puker. He could throw up any time, especially when he gets excited. It could be just after a feed or 2 hours after a feed. Muslins are my friend, I go through many many muslins every day. It doesn’t upset baby one bit, in fact, he doesn’t even notice it most of the time. I notice it though – on my couch, on my rug, on my carpet, on my baby carrier, and mostly on my clothes. So, after going through about 5 tops a day, I had a revelation – patterns! I now find myself wearing things with patterns as fresh puke stains won’t be as noticeable. Oh how standards have dropped – a lot.
Sleep Deprivation MRF 6/10
I’ve written about this before here but no post about new mother rage could leave sleep deprivation out. And it may be the actual cause of the new mother rage in the first place! It’s not even totally because of the baby, some nights you find yourself lying there waiting for the baby to wake or you are on your phone when you’ve gone to bed early to get extra sleep. I did think I had all this sorted when I wrote my last post but I fell at one of the first hurdles. Routine. It’s just not possible to have a good routine and to have a life. So I chose to have a (very sleep deprived) life. I have managed to keep the bedtime routine to 7pm every night. But if I want to get out of the house, I need to just do it so daytime naps the same time every day are out the window. Eventually you get used to sleeping less and you forget what it was ever like to sleep for more than 4 hours in a row. And it’s ok. It’s just a phase right?
It was good to get that all off my chest! Now, where’s that glass of wine?